It is difficult to understand how influences earlier in our lives can come back to affect us as adults. In my case, I was a small, nerdy guy in high school with low self-esteem. My only saving grace was my intelligence and good grades. In my senior year some of the popular, athletic guys befriended me and asked for my help with their studies. I was smart enough to know that they were just using me, but it still felt good to be accepted by them.
After high school I went to college and earned a master’s degree in mechanical engineering, and eventually started my own company. My name is Ed, and this story is about how my experiences with one of those boys caused a change in my life when I was 50 years old.
As I look back on it now, my relationship with those boys had two conflicting facets. On the one hand I was much smarter and applied myself to my studies more than them, but on the other they were strong, muscular and handsome. I always felt weak and less masculine around them. Even when I was helping them, they talked down to me, and somehow that humiliation made me feel accepted by them. I can still remember the night that my relationship with them changed significantly.
It was towards the end of football season and I was a senior helping four of the senior star players on the team study for mid-term exams. They needed to make good grades on the exams to maintain their eligibility to finish the season. We had been studying all week and were at the quarterback Jimmy’s home on a Saturday afternoon when his parents were out of town.
After studying for four hours straight the guys wanted to take a break and relax for a while. So they started drinking beer and were soon feeling good and talking about girls and sex. At one point Jimmy said, “I don’t know about you guys, but I haven’t had any pussy for a week. My girlfriend really knows how to fuck, and she sucks cock like a pro. I could sure use her over here right now.”
Similar comments were made by the other guys, but it was hard to know whether any of it was true. They were all wearing loose athletic shorts and t-shirts. As the sexual comments continued, they began openly rubbing their cocks. I could see their cocks and balls moving around under their shorts as they continued massaging themselves. I was impressed by the size of them. My dick was only four inches long, and that was just one more reason for me to feel inferior to them.
I tried not to be too obvious looking at their crotches, but found out that I wasn’t careful enough. One of the boys named Larry looked over at me and said, “Damn Ed, you’ve been staring pretty hard at our cocks. Maybe you’d like us to strip down so you can see them better. What do you say guys? Let’s show Ed our meat, and maybe he can help us even more than he already has.”
I was shocked as they all took off their shorts and underwear, and I was staring at their cocks and big, hanging balls. The cocks were half-hard and the three white guys looked to be about five inches long, and the black guy Terrell’s cock was even longer. I didn’t want to appear interested in their genitals, but as they got fully hard I couldn’t force myself to look away.
They were all openly stroking themselves, and the white guys were now six or seven inches long and Terrell must have been about eight inches. But all of them were thick and meaty. Then Jimmy said, “Come on Ed, suck our cocks for us. We can tell that you are interested in our fuck meat. We won’t tell anyone if you don’t want us to.”
This story focuses on my more recent experiences. So I won’t go into many details of my encounters with the high school boys, except for how it relates to my mental state. I sucked off all of those boys twice that afternoon, and each one was more humiliating for me than the previous. They taunted me and called me a cock sucker and faggot, and aggressively fucked my mouth and had me suck their balls and swallow their cum.
It seemed strange to me at the time that the more they used me for their sexual pleasure, the more aroused I got. I was craving the humiliation I felt at being their cock sucker and cum dump. Terrell made me feel that way even more. His cock was bigger and he more-aggressively fucked my mouth and called me filthy names. But it was the idea of being abused by a black boy that excited me the most.
White society was much less accepting of blacks during that time. It felt so degrading to be used by a black boy like that, and to actually swallow his semen and sperm. And I could tell that he took great pleasure in seeing a white boy between his legs and sucking his coal black cock.
I continued being a cock sucker for those four boys and several others for the remainder of high school. But those desires faded as I got into the new environment of college. I had matured physically by then and was a normal looking young man. I started to enjoy being with women. I leveraged my strong aptitude for math and mechanical engineering, and I stayed in school for six years, until I got my master’s degree.
My first job with a manufacturing company was interesting, and I met my beautiful wife Judy there. But I also worked on some personal projects at home and was able to invent and get patents on some devices that helped to improve the fluid hydraulics manufacturing industry. I started my own company with the help of two wealthy investors, and have built the business to the point of having 2,000 employees. I am the majority owner, chairman and CEO, and have a lot of power and authority over my employees.
Judy and I had a good sex life until the last couple of years, even with my little dick that had matured to almost four and a half inches long and of medium thickness. We have three children who are now grown and out on their own, and we were enjoying our lives. But then Judy lost interest in sex. I was still able to get some pussy from one of the married accountants at work. She was very attractive. After I learned that she and her husband were having difficulties with their relationship, I used my position, influence and a big salary increase to seduce her. But even then, I felt like something was missing from my life. I eventually became depressed.
I went to see a psychiatrist to help me with my depression. After only a few visits he thought he understood at least part of my problem. I spilled my guts and told him my whole life’s history, including those experiences sucking cock in high school and my feelings about it. One day he explained, “You know Ed, it isn’t that unusual for men in a position of power like you are to feel the need to relinquish some of their power sexually. But by having sex with your employee from a position of power, you were only adding to those feelings of always having to be in charge.”
He paused for a moment to gauge my reaction and then continued, “Those feelings are being exacerbated since I don’t think you have come to grips with the thrill you got from being submissive to, humiliated by and degraded by the boys in high school. Some people consider those feelings to be a reward that you received for that behavior. Those experiences were intense and short-lived, and you’ve never resolved them in your mind. I’m not suggesting any particular course of action for you right now. But we need to work on those feelings and see if we can find some mental outlet for you.”
The doctor’s insights hit me like a ton of bricks. I immediately understood what he was saying. I could then remember the thrill I got being humiliated by those boys. I even ejaculated in my pants while I was sucking them, and especially when I swallowed their cum. The reality that I was taking their reproductive fluids into my mouth and swallowing them was somehow thrilling for me. I thanked the doctor for his help, and over his objections, I stopped seeing him. It seemed like I knew enough now to try to find a solution on my own, without having to the keep the doctor in the loop.
I did some research online looking for anything I could find about dominant, powerful men secretly craving to be submissive and humiliated. Many of the sites focused on men being submissive to women and other men in cuckold relationships, or even men just being submissive to women. But then I found several local blogs which dealt more with men being submissive to other men. They seemed to fit my situation better. Only one site focused almost entirely on bosses who sucked their employee’s or other men’s cocks. Over a month’s time I had read thousands of those postings, and learned how some men satisfied their cravings.
One of the members talked about an adult book store in our area with glory holes and attached porn theaters. I looked it up and learned that is was located in a run-down part of town that most white people considered to be dangerous. He said that the porn theater was well-known as a hang-out for black men who liked to demean the white men who sucked their cocks. They understood the strong hunger that some white men had for black cocks and cum, and they exploited it. Those men even made the white men pay to suck their cocks for anywhere from $10 to $50 per ejaculation, depending on how well-off they thought the cock sucker was and how anxious he was to suck them.
Just hearing him describe how those white men were being humiliated was getting me excited. I sent him a private message asking if he would be willing to talk with me more about it. I was happy when he replied and let me know that he was a vice president in a local company and that he had similar cravings to mine.
He said, “I have been there only five times, and some of the black men can get pretty vile. They just loved taking advantage of my weakness for their thick, black cocks. Two of the men even held me in place after they ejaculated, and pissed in my mouth and made me swallow it. That was a bit much for me, so I haven’t been back since. But if you decide to go there, make sure you wear normal clothes and nothing fancy. And for goodness sakes don’t wear any expensive jewelry.”
I could remember loving the feeling and taste of the boys’ cum shooting into my mouth and me swallowing it. But I had never thought about someone also pissing into my mouth. I know that I must seem like a real pervert, but the idea of a man, and especially a black man, pissing in my mouth was exciting to me. I just loved the thought of having black men forcefully spraying their fluids into my mouth for me to swallow.
Judy was used to me going out to casual business meetings on week nights, so I went down to the theater on a Tuesday night wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. I left my watch and rings in the car. My car is a Cadillac and one of the nicer ones in the parking lot, so I parked away from the building and lights. As I approached the theater I saw eight black men standing outside near the entrance under an awning, in small groups, talking and some were smoking.
There were men of all ages there, some in their early 20s and others who looked my age and older. As I passed by them they smiled at me and some of them even grabbed their crotches, as if they were offering themselves to me. Everyone knew that the only reason for a 50 year old white man to be there on a work night was to suck some black cock.
I went into the ticket booth and found out that one of the theaters showed straight movies and the other showed gay movies. I bought a ticket to the straight movie to get started, and didn’t want to show my intentions yet by going to the gay one. I had carefully planned this night in hopes of sucking some black cocks, but now I was nervous about actually facing a stranger, with us both knowing that I was there to suck his cock.
There were a few other people scattered around the theater, and it took me a few minutes for my eyes to adjust. I could then see that some heads were bobbing up and down as white guys were sucking black men’s cocks. I finally decided to go to the back row since it was totally empty. It had a wider aisle since it was designed for people in wheelchairs and their friends.
I moved in and sat near the middle of the row, and enjoyed the movie for a few minutes. There wasn’t much of a plot. It was just two old black men fucking a blonde college girl. I lost myself in the movie for a few minutes and was enjoying watching those big, black cocks fucking the girl, and then realized that someone had come in and sat down next to me. I could see from the reflected light from the screen that is was one of the 20 something year old black men that I had seen out front when I walked in.
He sat there quietly for a few moments and then leaned over and whispered to me asking, “Hey old man, aren’t you in the wrong theater? I’ve never seen you here before, but we both know what you want, don’t we?”
I was still pretty nervous and tried to act like I didn’t know what he was talking about and said, “What do you mean man? I’m just here to watch the movies. What are you talking about?”
Then he smiled and took my hand in his and pulled it over to his crotch. He must have pulled down his sweatpants when he first sat down and I wasn’t paying attention, because he pressed my hand down and around his huge, bare cock. He didn’t seem to be fully hard and his meat was thick, firm, and I could tell that it was long. I had never seen or felt an uncircumcised cock before, but I could feel his thick foreskin that was obviously wet with his precum. I was mesmerized by his big cock. When he took his hand away I continued to hold and rub it.
Then he leaned over again and said, “That’s it boy, rub it and make it hard for me. You know you want to suck it and swallow my juice. I’ll give you a special deal and only charge you $10 since this is our first time. Go ahead and get on your knees and suck me man. Do as I say cock sucker. Take your place between my legs and suck my cock.”
His assertive approach appealed to my desires to be subservient to him. I continued to hold his cock as I handed him $10 from my pocket and quickly moved to my knees. My face was then only inches from his cock, and his musky odor was getting me excited. He placed one hand behind my head and pulled me towards him until the head of his pre-cum-oozing cock touched my lips. I looked up at his face as I opened my mouth wide and took his cock into my mouth. He was looking down at me and smiling, since I had confirmed his belief in why I was there.
My first taste of his thick, eight inch long, circumcised cock brought back memories of sucking Terrell in high school. He was already oozing precum, and I loved the taste of his cock and cum. Just the fact that I was on my knees on that filthy floor, in a porn theater, and sucking a black man that I had just met, was feeding my submissive desires.
I struggled to get more and more of his cock into my mouth, and soon felt his cock head pushing into my throat. That’s when he said, “Oh yeah cock sucker, take it all. You seem like your might have done this before. Now keep sucking it and you’ll soon get your juicy reward.”
The aroma of his sweaty, musky crotch was so arousing to me, and I knew that I had made the right decision in coming to the theater. But I had only been sucking him for a few minutes, when he held my head tightly and thrust his cock into my mouth saying, “Fuck yeah, keep sucking man, and I’ll be feeding you my big nut.”
Right after he said that, his cock started jerking and spewing as he filled my mouth with a massive load of cum. I kept sucking and swallowing him as his cock softened, and he finally pushed me off saying, “That’s it cock sucker, you’ve had more than ten dollars worth of my cock, and my load was bigger than usual since I haven’t been here for a few days.”
I sat back in the chair next to him, embarrassed at what I had done, but still enjoying the humiliation of sucking a black stranger like that. Then I said, “Yes, you did feed me a big load and it was tasty, but I was just surprised that you ejaculated so quickly. I haven’t done this for a long time, and I guess I was just hungry for more. My name is Ed by the way, and I really enjoyed sucking your cock.”
He looked at me and replied, “Yeah, my name is Mitchell, and you did okay on my dick. With a little practice you’ll be pretty good, because I can tell that you really love it. But look, if you are anxious for more black cock, my uncle Jesse and cousin Erik should still be out front looking for customers. We can go see if they’ve found any cock suckers yet. Shit, you seem so hungry for it that you might want both of them. I’ll be ready to go again soon too if you want even more.”
We went out front, and Mitchell walked towards two men who must have been Jesse and Erik. Jesse is a tall black man and a little over weight with a belly and fat ass. He has close-cropped grey hair and looks to be about 55 years old. His son Erik is Mitchell’s cousin, and both of the younger men looked to be maybe 25 years old. They were both lean and muscular, and six feet tall and maybe weighing 170 pounds.
Mitchell introduced me saying, “This is Ed, and he is a new cock sucker who just finished me off in the theater, and then complained about wanting more time on my cock. I told him that you two might want some action, and that a little later I can go again too. What do you say?”
Jesse looked me up and down and said, “Shit yeah, we’re ready, but the restroom was pretty jammed up when I was in there a while ago. What do you say we go over to my place Ed? It’s only a few minutes from here, and you can follow us in your car. I showered earlier and should be nice and clean for you.”
I followed them the two or three miles to a small, but nice, home in an area that looked a little unsafe to me. I parked in the driveway behind his old car. When they got out and looked at my car Jesse said, “Damn Ed, that’s a really nice car. I’ll bet that you can afford to pay me fifty dollars to suck my cock and balls. Anything else will cost you extra.”
Those men seemed to be very experienced at this sort of thing, and they undressed completely as soon as we entered Jesse’s bedroom. The queen-sized bed was against the back wall, and about two feet away from the side wall. I just stood there not knowing what he wanted me to do and then he said, “Just lay on the bed on your back with your head hanging a little off the edge by the side wall. That way I can balance against the wall while I move back over your face. A few of my white cock suckers like that position because it gives us a lot of options.”
I wasn’t sure what he meant about options, but I got into position as he directed. He stood facing the wall and backed up over my face. His big ass moved over me and then his low-hanging, heavy, egg-sized, hairy, black scrotum and balls dragged over my face and came to rest on my mouth. I could hardly believe the size of his balls, and it was clear that he wanted me to suck them. I had never really sucked the balls of those boys in high school, so it was a new experience for me. The feeling of being under him like this was fueling my desires to be used for his pleasure. I felt his huge, soft cock heavily resting on my head.
My face was between his legs and nuzzled against his balls, which meant I was only inches from his ass. His aroma was musky but clean, and I opened wide to suck his scrotum. I took one of his big nuts into my mouth and sucked it and moved it around with my tongue, and then did the same for the other one. I had never seen such big and low-hanging balls. They made him seem all the more dominant and virile. I loved the texture and taste of his hairy scrotum. After sucking him that way for about ten minutes, he started shifting his crotch a little more towards the wall and said, “Nice job on my nuts Ed, so I’ve got another treat for you.”
He then pressed down on my face a little harder which brought his perineum against my mouth. I had read a little about men being sucked there, and it was very pleasurable for the man being sucked due to the concentration of nerve endings in the area with a direct connection to the prostate. The perineum is that muscular flesh from between the rear of his balls to his asshole. They are different sizes on different men. It is also a sensitive area since the muscle covers the internal base of the cock. When a man gets hard, his perineum swells too.
Jesse’s perineum was long and thick, and I immediately began to suck and lick him there. I forgot for the moment that I was only inches from his asshole, but in the heat of the moment I just wanted to suck him there and please him. I felt his cock harden on my head as I sucked him there. He moved back and forth across my face a little rubbing my lips and tongue along the length of his perineum.
I knew that he was enjoying me sucking him there because he said, “Good job Ed. That feels so fucking good. Some of my cock suckers don’t like getting down there, but you’re taking right to it. So now get ready for another treat. Just keeping sucking and licking. I think you’re the type who will like this.
Just then Jesse shifted his crotch farther towards the wall, and I had my face buried in his fat, hairy ass. My mouth was right near his asshole. He paused for a few seconds and then lowered his ass fully on my face. Instead of being grossed out, I suddenly had the desire to suck his ass, and I began tonguing and licking him there. Then he reached down to pull his ass cheeks apart so I could get deeper between his cheeks. He positioned his asshole right over my mouth. I started tonguing and sucking his asshole almost like I used to eat my wife’s pussy.
I felt that my humiliation had to be complete. I was on my back, deep between the fat ass cheeks of a black man, and actively sucking his asshole. I even pushed my tongue in his ass as far as I could, as I continued to suck him. He was squirming on my face and continuing to apply pressure as he said, “Yeah, eat my fuckin’ butt man! I’ve never had anybody tongue-fuck my hole like you are doing. Oh fuck yeah, keep making love to my fat ass! That feels so good that I might not even charge you extra for it.”
He kept me under him like that for a long time. I liked the feeling of being pinned under him and serving him that way. I reached up and gripped his thighs to hold him in place on top of me. I struggled to breathe at first, but then learned to twist my face to the side periodically to catch a breath. Finally Jesse pulled off of me as I struggled to hold him there and he said, “Sorry, but big daddy needs to cum. Maybe I’ll feed you my ass some more a little later if you still have a taste for it.’
Jesse then slid back onto me until his ass was on my chest, and his balls were at my throat. He leaned forward a little to change the angle, and he pressed his big cock to my mouth. It was thick and looked to be uncircumcised and over nine inches long, with a thick foreskin that was already oozing precum. He pushed his cock into my mouth and started slowly rocking back and forth, fucking my mouth with his black meat. I tilted my head up so I could take as much of his cock as possible, and he was soon pressing in into my throat.
He liked me taking his cock so deeply in my mouth. When he stood up so he could lean over a little more, I supported his ass with my hands. He must have been well-stimulated from the sucking I gave his balls, perineum and ass, because it only took a few minutes for his cock to stiffen further and throb, as he filled my mouth with spray after spray of his thick semen and sperm.
I loved the taste of his cock juice and swallowed it all as I continued sucking his softening cock. He stayed on my chest slowly fucking his now-soft, seven inch cock into my mouth. He looked down between his legs at my face and said, “The few white men who have taken to eating my ass the way you just did have also enjoyed what I’m going to do next. I’m going to help wash down all of that cum, so swallow fast since I really have to piss.”
Before I could comprehend fully what he was saying, I felt the first pulses of his piss spray into my mouth. At first I was totally disgusted. But as I swallowed more and more of his pee, I realized that I craved the feeling of having his bodily fluids shooting into my mouth. After tongue-fucking his asshole the way I did, and now drinking his piss, I knew that I had reached my most-depraved state.
The next three hours were a blur as I sucked Erik that same way I had done his father Jesse, and also took his cum and piss. And before it was over I sucked all three of those men again. My total outlay of cash that night was almost four hundred dollars. They ended up charging me extra for the privilege of sucking their perinea and assholes, as well as feeding me their piss. That made me enjoy my degradation even more.
I came back two nights later and sucked them all again. And with the experience of that first night behind me, we experimented with various positions. I loved the feeling of being smothered in their ass cheeks, and I enjoyed licking and sucking their ass cracks as well as their assholes. And as much as I liked the feeling of their cum shooting into my mouth, I think I liked drinking their piss even more. It was all about the force of the fluids they were feeding me that made it so special. They sometimes drank beer just to satisfy my thirst for their urine.
After three weeks of meeting them that way, I found myself wanting to meet with them even more. But it was hard to keep making up excuses to my wife for being out. I knew that I needed to come up with another plan. I was also spending a lot of cash satisfying my perversions, although that wasn’t the biggest issue.
So one night after I had sucked all three of them, I asked, “What do you guys do for a living? Surely you’re not making enough to survive from down at the porn theater. My company has quite a few open positions since the economy turned around a little. Maybe we can find a place for you there. That would be a way to save me a little cash, and also provide a future for you guys.”
Erik spoke for the group and said, “Well, Dad worked in a warehouse driving forklifts and other heavy equipment before he was laid off. His unemployment is soon coming to an end. I finished college and got my degree in accounting last year, but no one would hire me in the bad economy. And Mitchell worked on an assembly line before he was laid off. He is also nearing the end of his unemployment payments.”
Then Jesse said, “And since the boys are living with me and we have pooled our resources from unemployment and having white guys suck our cocks, we have been making it. But with the unemployment running out we’ll be in deep shit.”
I knew that we had job openings that would be a match for each of them. So I said, “If you are interested in working full-time for my company, and don’t mind feeding my passions when I need you to, as part of the undocumented bargain, then I think that we might have positions for all of you.”
They were all stunned at my offer and happy to accept. So I helped them pull their resumes together and took them to my human resources department with a strong suggestion that we hire those men. Within a week they were onboard at the company. Jesse had enough experience to be a warehouse foreman. Mitchell had a perfect background to work on our assembly line. And I made sure that Erik was positioned on my financial reporting staff so I would have legitimate reasons to call him to my office with reports and other financial reporting documents.
Within a week I had a different plan with each of them to fuck my face and feed me their cum, piss and assholes. I started taking almost daily tours of the warehouse, and had Jesse, as foreman, take me on his forklift to an isolated area where we had set up pads on a stack of pallets. That allowed us interesting positions, like with me on my back and him squatting over me while I sucked his ass and balls. He always drank a lot of water, so we could finish with me taking his cum, and washing it down with piss.
I also took periodic tours of the assembly area, and found excuses to take Mitchell into the break room to suck his cock when no one else was there. Erik was a little easier, because I had him deliver a daily report to my office at closing time. We locked ourselves in my office, and he usually would sit on my desk while I was in my chair, and throw his legs over my shoulders while I sucked his ass, balls and cock, and took his fluids.
I wasn’t able to meet with all of them every day, but I probably averaged being with two of them each day. I sometimes called them in on weekends, for which I paid overtime, and we were able to spend more time without some much risk of getting caught.
But it was just a matter of time before I was caught with Jesse. One day when Jesse was fucking my face with my head laying back over the edge of the pallets, one of the other foremen named Carlos saw our activity and walked up on us. He couldn’t see that it was me until he was right next Jesse. Then he panicked when he realized that it was me. I found out that day that the best way to get a man to keep our secret was for him to get in on the action. I was soon sucking Carlo’s big, brown cock as often as he wanted me to.
Over time, more people found out what I was doing. I soon had ten men that I was sucking to keep them happy and not tell anyone else. I acted like I was so upset about being caught. But deep down I loved the extra humiliation I experienced by being a cock sucker for so many of my workers.