There is no way to look cool drinking alone in a hotel bar at two in the afternoon. You inevitably look like a lonely businessman- a John Updike cliche.
I eyed the shot of tequila philosophically. ‘Well,’ I told the guy in the bar mirror,’ if she shows I’ll be nicely relaxed- if she doesn’t I’ll be halfway to drunk and the rest of the way won’t take long.’ With that exercise in self-delusion out of the way I slammed it back and tried not to make too much of a face as I chased it with a slug of cold beer.
I looked up into the mirror again and took another look at that guy. An okay looking fellow actually- not a stud to be sure- but certainly not the nerd he was in his younger days either. Nope, not bad looking at all- except for maybe the guilty look smeared across his face in day-glo.
I swished the beer around in my mouth and gave the guy a disgusted look. What are you feeling guilty about, schmuck? You haven’t done anything- yet.
What if she actually shows up?
Academic. She won’t. She’ll get cold feet- or one of her kids will get sick- or she’ll suddenly remember she’s married too, and has no business driving to New Frickin’ Jersey in the middle of the day to meet some guy she’s talked dirty to on a computer screen.
I’d never really considered meeting her. Who knew they’d send me here for three days? Who knew I’d actually have the cajones to tell her I was coming- and why the hell did I do that anyway? Testing myself? Testing her?
I felt my cock harden as I remembered those sessions and had to shift none-too-subtly to dislodge the underwear which had crawled up to hide in the crack of my ass.
I relived that first tingle when her words appeared on the monitor- hearing her voice speak them – or at least how I imagine her voice would sound. I’d never spoken to her in real life (-and dear God let it really be a her and not some 45 year old named Bruno with a mouse in one hand and his dick in the other.)
She was a New Yorker- I knew that. Not the most romantic accent to be sure. I don’t know why she’d stood out from the others out there in the great pick-up joint that was cyberspace, but there was something about this one. It was as if I could feel her excitement in her words- the little hesitation before she said (or typed- Christ what was the difference anyway?) the dread ‘c’ word for the first time for me. I could feel her excitement- share in the feeling of doing something forbidden, knowing she would never say those things to her husband, maybe had never said them out loud to anyone.
If I were with her at that moment, would I feel the fire in her cheek? Would her eyes really be shiny with need, her voice cracking as she asked for what she wanted and couldn’t get from the man she spent every day of her life with?
Was I really capable of drawing that kind of passion from anyone anymore- or are these the demented fantasies of a guy too married for too long? She’s not going to show- you’ll never know pal.
Then suddenly there she was. I mean, I didn’t know it was her- I’d never laid eyes on her- but this woman standing in the doorway had no business in a Holiday Inn at this time of day. Nearing 40, just like she’d said, (if she was telling the truth about that, was the rest of it true?) blond hair cut short in what I always thought of as that Century-21-salesperson-of- the-month style. Her dress was too much for that time of day, but I knew she’d spent a long time picking it out. Probably wanted something pretty, but didn’t want to look like a slut- hey she didn’t know me from Adam either let’s not forget that. God only knows how big the pile of dresses on her closet floor is that she went through then discarded before settling on this one.
Her eyes landed on me and I panicked. What do I do-kiss her or shake hands? Do I introduce myself- ‘Hi you don’t know me but I jerk off to you when my wife is asleep’ or maybe ‘ Hi- are you the lady who’s always wanted to take it in the ass- cause I’m waiting for someone…’
My body made the decision for me. In the bar mirror I saw myself stand up, then I heard a voice not unlike mine say ‘ Hello, Johanna’.
She looked relieved- great lady, so you don’t know how to go about this either. I sort of hoped one of us did-and I led her to a table in the corner. The bartender nodded and brought my drink over, giving me a conspiratorial wink as he went to fetch her order.
I guess we talked .Our mouths moved and noise came out. I remember saying something and making her laugh. I liked that because she put her hand out and put it on my arm. My breath froze in my body. She’d made me come a dozen times or more and this was the first time we’d ever touched.
It must have had the same effect on her, because the conversation stopped. She looked over the top of her glass at me and asked, ‘What’s going to happen now?’
‘What do you want to have happen?’
The words sounded strangely familiar and it took a moment to recognize them. We had said (typed, whatever) these same words to each other one night when she jokingly suggested we get together in real life. I knew this scenario- knew where it led and wondered if she remembered too.
‘ I want you to take me upstairs’
Okay, she remembered. What came next? Jesus my mouth was dry.
Did I dare say it? My mouth struggled to form the words and my throat could barely push out the sound.’ Not yet. I want you to do something for me.’
‘What?’ she asked quietly, her eyes locked on mine.
‘G-go into the bathroom and take off your panties’. The order came out and I instantly regretted it. What if it scared her off? Hell, what if she did it?
I could see the hesitation in her face. I almost let her off the hook when she took a deep breath then let out a nearly inaudible ‘yes’.
In a heartbeat, she stood up. Trying to remember my manners I stood up too quickly and we were inches apart. My face moved in and I tasted her lips. They were dry and tasted of gin and I thought I had never tasted anything better. Then she was gone- a little unsteadily but in the right direction.
The mind can play tricks when you’re waiting. I know it couldn’t have been more than a minute or two. It felt like weeks before she emerged, clutching her purse to her chest and walking a little unsteadily. When was the last time she had been in public with no underwear? Had she ever done it?
‘You came back’. It was a statement, not nearly the surprised question it must have sounded like. She nodded, ever so slightly biting her lip. Was it excitement, shame, a little of both? I tried to maintain the control I showed her and didn’t feel. ‘Well?’
She tilted her purse towards me and opened it. On top was a pair of black lace panties. Just like she’d written. Just like I’d hoped.
I took her hand in mine and brought the fingers to my lips. I was simply going to give them a gallant kiss, but I caught a whiff of what could only be her essence and gently sniffed. Bells went off in my brain and I locked eyes with her. Silently they asked the question, and she flushed deeply and a smirk crossed her lips in answer.
It damn near killed me to lead her across the lobby and not touch her. Somehow although we both knew what was going to happen, we couldn’t bring ourselves to let go in a hotel lobby in front of God, the bartender and everyone. We did have some measure of control after all. I guess that was a comfort.
The elevator doors started to close and we turned towards each other hungrily. My arms started to reach for her when a hand shot between the closing panels and a breathless salesman jumped in. Somehow I controlled both my disappointment and the desire to push his ass back out into the lobby and we took the three-month ride to the third floor.
I don’t remember walking down the hall, or fumbling with the electronic key, or opening the door. I do remember hearing it slam shut behind us and a soft groan foll
owed by lips and tongue hungrily probing .My hands caressed her sides, eliciting another moan. It sounded just as I’d imagined- full of passion, longing, shame- all the parts of a good catholic girl’s soul.
She wasn’t the hard-body of a magazine pin-up. She was fleshy, not fat and it felt real and so even sexier. Her quivering lips left mine for a moment, then desperately returned for more. At last, we took a deep breath and just looked into each other’s flushed faces. Her lipstick was smeared, and a clump of mascara clung like a cyst to one eyelash. God she looked great.
‘Are you sure,’ I asked. I’m not sure which one of us I was asking.
‘Yes, I need this.’ This, she said, not me. I relaxed a little. She didn’t love me, had no desire to take me away from my comfortable life, or even see me again. She wanted the experience: to know she could still make a man lose control, to want her so bad he lost control and a good chunk of his mind. To do all the slutty nasty things she would never dare do in her twice a month duty romps with her husband. To know she was even still capable of wanting to.
We both knew the scenario- had burned it into our memories, so when I gently pushed her down on the bed she fell into the exact position. Her arms were over her head, her large breasts heaving, legs slightly apart. I put a hand on each knee and sank to the floor.
Subtly she scooched to the end of the bed and moaned as I raised her skirt up. There it was, dark and hairy. I leaned in and breathed the aroma. All my plans went to hell as I plastered my lips against her swollen lips and got my first taste of another woman in too many years. It was clean and fragrant- not deodorized beyond smelling like a woman really smells and I reveled in it.
Her groan snapped me back to reality and to the job at hand. So many times I’d described what I would do to her in this same situation. Put up or shut up time pal.
My lips found their way to her left knee and kissed the soft skin behind it then moved up an inch or two. My teeth gently nipped at the soft flesh then soothed the area with a kiss. Then a little higher, another bite, another kiss. Up to the soft smoothness of her thighs, up to the crease where her faint panty line ran over a pale white hip. Closer towards that beckoning moist center then- down to the other knee for more.
‘Is that a complaint?’
‘No- I… just…’ I stopped and looked over her body at her.
‘Just what’ Another quick bite and my tongue salved the area. ‘What do you want?’
The answer came in a totally different voice- weak and far away. ‘Eat me’
‘Do what?’ My cock was swollen near to bursting now. I remembered my part of the game- did she? Her head tossed back and forth as if she were fighting a battle with some part of herself. The good guys lost.
Her other voice- the strong, demanding one-returned. ‘Please- eat me. Lick my… my pussy?’
‘You want me to lick your pussy? Like this?’ My tongue ever so gently grazed her lips, careful to avoid the swollen red bud at the top. Sharp fingernails, fresh from some suburban salon dug into my scalp, and I relished the pain. It wasn’t a dream after all.
‘Yesssss, oh god, do it, lick me. Eat my snatch,’ her hips thrust up towards my eager mouth and my tongue probed deeper.
‘Mmm hmmm, ‘ I prodded.
‘My.. pussy-‘ her hungry hole searched for my tongue and I gave it to her momentarily before pulling back, to look up at her again.
‘Your what?’ I waited, my lips just out of reach of her thrusting hips, resisting the pull of her fingers in my hair. The wait seemed eternal.
Then from the depths of her soul came a sound I had only heard in my mind- exactly as I had heard it a score of times in my fevered imagination.
‘My c-cunt- lick my cunt pleeeeeease’ Before she had finished the request my lips fastened themselves around her clit and I was sucking her juices deep into my mouth, drinking from her.
Saying the taboo had caused something to burst like a dam inside her. An endless torrent of babble poured forth. I didn’t hear it all, being too busy as I was groaning into her myself and smearing her wetness all over my face.
‘Yes, fuck oh darling, I’m gonna- gonna-‘ my efforts doubled, I wanted nothing more than for her to- ‘cummm- oh Jesus, I’m almost there…’
My tongue dove into her, starting at the bottom of her sweet pussy and plumbing deep into her, then beating a tattoo on her clit. Circling it with my tongue, to make her scream, to lose the control she wanted to be rid of, to make her explode all over my face.
She thrust once, twice onto my searching mouth, then froze, humped into the air, her ass inches off the hotel mattress as time and her babble stopped. There was silence for a moment, then a high wail escaped from inside her nice middle-class housewife body- a noise so primal it both terrified me and made my balls ache with their own need.
My fingers clutched her asscheeks and pulled her into my face. I couldn’t breathe but that seemed a minor consideration now. My fascination with her orgasm was almost clinical- could anyone really have all that built up inside them?
I pulled my face away and lay it on her heaving stomach. Her fingers pried themselves out of my scalp and gently caressed my brow. She was panting, trying to regain some composure. I was happy just to have my air supply back.
Fiercely, she pulled me up to her and kissed my face. Johanna licked my beard clean of her juices and then planted a slow wet kiss on my lips, her tongue searching for mine, which had retreated inside for a much needed break.
‘Your turn…’ A delicious sense of deja vu overtook me. We had been down this road- done these things before, yet this time the real touch- most of all the real smells and sounds- made it better than I could have wished. It gave the day a feeling of destiny as if this were preordained.
I lay back obediently and awaited the inevitable. She had to take me in her mouth, if only to show herself she could. I knew she wanted the flavor of a strange man, the smooth heat of a new cock in her mouth. She wanted to see if the old instincts were there, if indeed there had been anyone before old what’s his name, or just give vent to the lust bubbling beneath her everyday life like magma on a fault line. Either way she had to suck my cock. Who was I to argue with fate?
In seeming slow motion, she lowered her face to my pulsing, rock-hard prick. A trembling hand encircled it and gave it an exploratory touch, as if testing for volatility. I knew what she was waiting for.
‘Suck it… go on Johanna, suck my cock. Show me what a nasty slut you are.’
A little whimper escaped her throat. I’d hit the right nerve. ‘You told me you wanted to be my personal cocksucker- now’s your chance.’
I brushed a stray lock of hair away from her eyes so I could see as she opened her smeary red lips wide and engulfed the whole head. I’m somewhat strange in that receiving head isn’t my favorite thing, but this was more than head. This was someone offering up a piece of themselves- stripping their soul bare to a total stranger- hell she needed to suck a strange cock before she lost her mind.
Wet, hot, her teeth scraping the head in her clumsy eagerness. It was her passion I was enjoying more than the head. Her eyes were half-closed in reverence as she worshiped my totem. Somehow in all this, I remembered my part.
‘You like that don’t you?’ There was no answer but a loud slurping. I pulled her chin up and away from her target and demanded, ‘Don’t you?’
‘Yes, I love cock- I love your cock.’ I tipped it back towards her mouth and she dove forward, taking it all the way in, her tongue massaging the thick vein on the bottom along the way.
I couldn’t wait any longer. ‘Johanna, I need you- I need to fuck you.’
A little dazed, she pulled away from my cock and continued to stroke it.
‘Please hon., I need to be inside you.’ I was practically begging and I didn’t care. I’d played her game, given her at least some of what she needed, but my control was at an end- which was also what she needed, which was fine with me.
She flipped onto her back and smiled up at me. Her large breasts flopped a little to each side- no longer firm as in her youth but lovely none the less. I knelt between her legs, felt them on either side of my thighs as I brought the head of my prick closer and closer to her.
Loss of control, passion, guilt, shame, and need blended together to bathe me in a film of sweat as I ran the soft purple head against her wet opening. Was I teasing her or me? Maybe I was demonstrating my last ounce of control but she knew what I needed to hear.
‘Yes darling- fuck me. Stick that beautiful cock inside my pussy and fuck the shit out of me!’ she hissed between gritted teeth. Her voice echoed in my head and rattled the length of my spine. I couldn’t wait any longer and gently pushed forward.
The heat, the moisture, her groans all blended together. Had fucking changed that much since I got married? Had it ever been like this? I positively burned as I thrust forward. She matched me thrust for thrust, taking me deep inside her, my balls slapping against the cheeks of her ass noisily.
Her head tossed from side to side, whimpering noises escaping her throat. I said nothing but closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation, not of making love, but of fucking. It felt like I’d never done this before, as if I was discovering the act for the first time. Through the mist I was lost in I could hear her voice almost chanting, ‘yes, yes, yes,’ and my thrusts matched her, each yes met with a grinding thrust as deep as I could go.
I tried to remember what I was supposed to do next, how our scenario had played out but nothing mattered now. I hooked my elbows behind her knees and brought them up ’til they almost crushed her nipples. I wanted access to every part of her and her groans showed her willingness to comply.
In and out, in and out. I gritted my teeth and looked down at this stranger to whom I was surrendering so much, risking everything and for what- this feeling? At that moment the trade seemed more than fair.
‘Please- fuck me-e-e-e-e’. I tried to respond but couldn’t. The words were stuck in my throat- or I’d forgotten how to form them. A low growl was all that came out, but Johanna knew what it meant. She picked up speed, thrusting back at me, her talons scratching my back.
‘Yes, do it, come for me. Fuck yes come, fill me up, fuck yes…’. Who was I to resist? My head snapped back. Thick drops of sweat fell from my forehead onto her stomach and I saw it puddle in her navel.
It was the last thing I saw before my vision blurred, my brain exploded in a kaleidoscope of thoughts, images, light and nothingness. I felt a burning in my balls, my cock throbbed and I gave a series of short sharp thrusts and then…
‘Aaaaaagh’. Spurting, shooting, cries from her, groans from deep inside myself. A terrifying thought of what we’d done tried to surface but it disappeared in the maelstrom that was my mind, drowned in the sea of jism that slowly started to leak out of her and onto my thigh.
I kissed her softly and collapsed, panting for breath and mercy. She covered my face with soft kisses, murmuring ‘thank you, thank you’ over and over like a mantra.
I looked over at this stranger I’d known so intimately yet never met before. There were things to say, excuses to make, rationalizations to prepare, but that could wait. I pulled her on top of me and grinned.
‘Beats the hell out of typing don’t it?’